So, this blog post is occurring right after a mental breakdown that pushed me into finally writing this. Here’s how it started…
I realised I had put off writing my personal statement for UCAS for far too long now. It was finally time to put my head down and start the long grooling process of writing 1000-4000 words about myself. Sorry what?? 1000 to 4000 words about myself?? My biggest achievement in life so far has been keeping my hamster alive longer then my brothers……. before I sat on him. Rest in Peace Ham.
So there I am exploring every part of my mind, to pull out anything relatively interesting about me, annnnnnd nothing. Null. Nunzo. ZERO. I read the UCAS site looking for any help or guidance on how to lay out the statement. They inform me that I should be writing about the course and getting excited; that I should be relating it all back to me and my skills. This is where it all went downhill. I go into the details of the Animal Science module and I couldn’t help but feel a lump form in my throat, disappointment overwhelms my brain. This is not what I want to do.
Before you know it I’m slamming my head against the table and tears are filling my eyes. Yes, ladies and gents, the start of my mental breakdown. The efforts of my mum to try calm me down only made me feel worse, because I’m one of those people who thinks they need to be left to their own devices when they feel this sh*t.
She just kept asking;
“What do you wanna do?”
“What do you wanna do????”
AND I know in my head what I want to do, but trying to say it out loud is scary.
I’ve always known that taking the road of blogging is a massive risk and all these questions flood my head like;
WHAT IF IT GOES WRONG? WHAT IF I DON’T GO TO UNI AND RELY ON THIS AND BECOME HOMELESS BECAUSE I CAN’T MAKE IT MY CAREER?
I bet a lot of people have gone through these thought processes in anything they want to do.
Long story short, I’m now writing this post and hoping it is the first of many, the start of something beautiful.
Have a great day